Articles
Published May 2009
Influence with Integrity
Ask yourself. How would you describe your client relationships?
As an entrepreneur in today's unpredictable economic climate, it is critical to understand how to develop long term business relationships with your clients. Sincere rapport building should be a core skill in your communications portfolio. It will ensure you will be the one who stands out and is selected. The study of Neuro Linguistic Programming can achieve this and more.
A few months ago, I had a chance to drop in to see a colleague from a previous business. We hadn't talked for about three years. We caught up over coffee and became immersed in the 'what ever happened to…' conversation. If someone had been watching us, they would have noticed we were both leaning forward clasping our coffee mugs, talking at the same rate, nodding heads at the same time and possibly even breathing at the same rate. That is called innate rapport. The powerful art of NLP can give you the opportunity to recreate this rapport with anyone you meet, as long as it is used in integrity.
So what is NLP? Neuro Linguistic Programming is basically a model of interpersonal communication. It is the study of thinking, language and behavior and how it can affect your interaction with both yourself and others.
Put yourself in the place of your potential client. They are usually extremely busy and fitting you in between meetings, conference calls and emails. Not exactly the best way to start off a fruitful conversation. On top of that it is highly possible that they are under extreme stress to produce results in a very challenging environment and every minute counts. Most of the people they deal with have their own agenda, and conflicts are more prevalent than normal. So what can you do to develop a positive environment and a memorable meeting?
We are told that the first two minutes of an initial meeting make or break the rest of the session. When I met up with my colleague, I wasn't thinking about myself, how I looked or even talked. I was totally focused on her. When you first meet your potential client do the same. It is important that you move into their 'model of the world' with the sincere intention of putting them at their ease. One or two ways you can do this include:
- Match their initial handshake - yes even if it is limp!
- Listen to their greeting and adjust your pace to theirs. Someone who speaks quickly and succinctly has no time for people who ramble.
- Once seated, notice if they express themselves with their hands. If they do, you can reflect that. Some people don't use hand gestures and are put off by those who do.
- Retain eye contact, and focus completely on them
This may sound like a lot of work, but remember, it is only for the first two minutes as you develop that initial rapport. After that the interaction flows naturally.
NLP uses the term 'matching and mirroring' in order to develop rapport. This is a powerful tool, and if it is used with any thought of manipulation it can backlash. Take some time to practice these techniques one at a time with family and friends. It can be an excellent opportunity to spend some quality time with them. Get feedback on your voice - pace, volume and length of sentences, and then practice adjusting them to suit another's vocal preference. Study your physical movements. Do you always cross your legs, lean back, or do you put your hands on the desk and lean towards the other person? It is important for you to become more flexible with your physical gestures and posture in order to adjust to the other's preference.
As you master these techniques you will notice the difference. The person you are meeting will be more relaxed and open to your message, and often will give you more time that originally agreed upon; your message will stand out, you will be remembered and it is highly likely you will have someone who decides to work with you.
