Striving toward anything has the inherent value of participating in a “journey”. The complication appears when the striving becomes the sole reason for one’s existence. With wealth, oftentimes rather than investing in and creating memories which are reflective pools of satisfaction later in life, the seeker only focuses on the destination. The perception often is that short of arriving at that destination, life is unfulfilled.

This perception is tied to what a child learns in his or her youth, primarily from his parents and family. If all emphasis is placed on success and money, then short of that goal the child will feel a failure. If contrarily, a child becomes self-actualized and gives proper weight to seeking and growing a passion rather than a portfolio, success defines itself in terms of personal accomplishment and growth rather than the bottom line of a personal financial statement.

Even some of the most self-centered of the super-rich are great contributors to the organizations and charities that benefit many others. This conversion occurs typically after they have grown bored of the diminishing returns of material wealth and reach out to find significance in giving to others. “A good thing!”

Having great wealth can focus one on the business of personal materialism and the sport of having the next better thing. This process tends to insulate the super-rich from the compressions [challenges, difficulties, and normal stresses] of life. Without compressions in life, it is hard to experience the relief and freedom of temporarily shedding those stressors. It sounds a little masochistic, but the rich often search out their own dramas and issues because the typical compressions of life can be dispatched with a financial fix.

The media brings us images. Those images show us that wealthy celebrities, sports players, business icons, and lotto winners have trouble free lives of happiness and bliss. The Have-Nots take that bait hook line and sinker. The unfortunate truth is; the Haves experience the same problems as the Have-Nots, plus, wealth brings a world of unforeseen issues such as pretend friends and voracious inheritors that complicate the Haves’ world even more. The lie is the Have-Nots believe their own existence without money is substandard. Not true!

All of my clients previewed the book and were pleased with its candor and honesty. Most of the clients recognized that at least one of the issues presented in the book in fact affected their lives in some way.

There is great euphoria in being able to have anything or experience one can dream of… for a while. Then, relatively speaking, the rest is more of the same. The difference? The financially modest still dream of someday having. The super-rich want more… but of what?

If wealth is used as a security blanket, and not used to raise one’s lifestyle, security is comforting. And having money to give to others…..rewarding. I’m not so worried about how I would “handle it”, but how wealth would handle me.

Wealth and fame, although similar in their intoxication, are two different issues. While each one can be toxic, the combination is often lethal.

Old money is only old money because the benefactors have restricted its use, and taught the downstream beneficiaries how to manage it. New money typically arrives without the recipient receiving education on how to manage both the money and the stampede of promoters who would like to have some of your money become their money.

I’ve seen dozens, both men and women. Last week a handsome man in his forties was sharing pictures of an Iranian heiress whom he had lived with for seven years on 80 acres complete with lake and 24,000 foot home. He got kicked out and was on the hunt for a new nest. I only got nervous when an hour later I saw him on the couch with his arm forced around my beautiful wife of 33 years!! Too close to home. People hopefully marry for love at least once. In the world of the super-rich, it is common to have background checks done on potential dates long before any serious relationship develops. Business is business, but for some, love is business too.

People that win the lottery are typically highly visible and do not speak the language of “no”. They often relish the attention because they feel important. The peddlers of wealth assistance are experts at offering their services as guides. These same people are often experts at the trickle-down theory also.

Gates and Buffett are shorthanded for the ground work in implementing the power of their charitable money. If society could provide the volunteer network for doing the ground work and be the quality control as the on site managers of these funds, and funds like them, the money could go a lot further. If EVERY North American donated to their own cause, no matter how small, their contribution would dwarf the combination of Gates and Buffett. But God bless them both for having such good character. The same was true of other great North American wealth families; John D. Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie, Milton Hershey, JP Morgan, etc.

Our country needs to revisit the dream, and why people came here in the first place. The choice was about finding personal freedom and being able to spend a lifetime pursuing a personal passion. It was about the journey, not the destination. It was about struggle and dedication. Success and failure were almost synonymous with gaining experience. It was about smiling from the inside out with pride at small personal accomplishments. We must stop believing that the arrival at a place of wealth and prominence has a fairytale ending. It is a lie that has sucked so many of us in. The middle class has always maintained the spirit of our country. It’s time the middle class reached out and claimed the ownership of the conscience that built this place.